Read time: 7 minutes
TLDR:
- My mental habit patterns kept me from exercising and building a healthier routine
- The actual physical experience of exercise was not the concern for me rather it was the fear of the future discomfort
- Most things are actually possible provided I keep aware of my thought patterns
Preamble:
Hello Readers!
This post is something that has always been a challenge for me in my life: exercise.
While I may look fit as I’m slim and small in stature, I’m not someone who I would describe as being fit. I cannot do one full pushup, I get tired after running a block and I would 100% be the type of person who would rather take the escalator than the stairs. I know, I know…exercise helps you become stronger! Yes, that I know from a scientific perspective and from an experience level, but damn! Is it ever challenging when in a rut!
Background:
How did the post come to be? Well…last week a friend introduced me to a show called Physical: 100. It’s a Korean reality TV show where the contestants are competing in a variety of quests against one another to see who has the best body. While I have some reservations about the show, it was intriguing as it helped me understand something very important: willpower.
Physical 100:
Physical 100 gathers athletes from many different backgrounds whether they’re personal trainers, former Olympians, professional athletes, Youtube crosstrainers etc. Female or male, they’re all welcome to compete and the winner at the end receives 300 million Korean Won (~$300,000 CAD). When my friend introduced me to this show, I thought I knew who would win the challenge in each episode, but what I came to learn is that regardless of male or female, each person had their own strengths. Not only that, but the people who continued on to compete were not only physically strong, but they had incredible mental fortitude. They would be competing and be completely exhausted physically, but had the mental volition to continue and that is what set them apart from their opponents.
This got me thinking…hmm…perhaps I’m not so different from these individuals (minus the massive muscles of course).
Meditation Teachings:
Vipassana meditation has taught me a lot, but specifically when discussing physical exercise, I’ll turn to 3 learnings:
- We ALL have a collection of habitual thought patterns – positive or negative
- ALL sensations, whether positive or negative, will come and go
- Strong determination
1. Habitual Thought Patterns:
While I know that I’m a person who could run 5km if someone lit a fire under my butt, I have a lovely collection of thought patterns which have kept me from exercising over the years. (Have fun taking a look into my brain)
- “If I exercise now, I won’t have the energy to do xyz”
- “I shouldn’t take the stairs, I should conserve my energy”
- “If I’m too tired, I’ll be anxious and if I’m anxious I won’t sleep well. If I won’t sleep well, I won’t be able to work or think clearly and thus I’ll be more anxious.”
Wow…looking at the cycle above, I had no idea my automatic thoughts were such a spiral! Hilarious to view at this time, but also brings great awareness to me. I didn’t realize how much I was trying to avoid my anxieties about the future.
2. All Sensations/Thoughts Will Come and Go:
This learning is super important for me and a good reminder when I’m actually exercising. I really dislike the thought patterns in my head and anxiety that creep up when I’m tired such that I avoid exercising. “I’m so tired. This is exhausting. Why am I so weak?” All of these thoughts make me want to give up not to mention make me feel bad. When I have these thought patterns and anxieties now, I just observe the sensations/thoughts and remind myself that this too shall pass…and they do pass!
3. Strong Determination:
When viewing the contestants from Physical:100, those that were eliminated early were those that either not as physically fit or those that were less determined. Even the small 120lbs females beat out some of the larger bodybuilders on pure determination and concentration alone. If I think of my own life, I can sometimes sit for 1-2 hours in meditation without moving despite the pain in my legs and I’ve also done some other very challenging things in my life. I have strong determination, I just need to apply it to other areas in my life also.
Comparison and Thoughts about Exercise:
Okay so at this point (after binge watching the entire season of Physical: 100), I established a couple closing thoughts
- EVERYONE gets exhausted
- Determination and mental fortitude is what sets me apart from them (…aside from massive muscles)
- All I need to do is exercise, be aware of my thought patterns and let them go
Woot! Okay it’s a pretty powerful to know that I can do pretty much anything in life once you have the right mindset. (PS: you can too…go meditate)
Evaluation of Current Fitness + My Objective:
- Current fitness level:
- I can’t do one real push-up (yes…that’s right)
- I get tired after running 1 block (yes…that is also right)
- I felt extremely lethargic and physically weak such that the idea of going to the store was hard
- Current exercise:
- …(urrr…I went on a 20 minute run when I was in Albania 4 months ago…does that count?)
- The Goal:
- In 2 months, be able to do 100 pushups (I’m using an app)
- In 3 months, be able to run 5km easily (using another app)
How Things Have Changed So Far:
I started using the two apps for pushups and running at the end of April and have complete 2 weeks of training sessions so far. What I’ve learned is that: yes, it’s actually much easier than I thought and wow, I have so much more energy than I believed!
Prior to this exercise regimen, I was so worried about the future negative spirals: I’d be so tired and be more anxious which would contribute to a poor sleep which would make me more anxious –> more tired etc. What I realize now though is a lot of that is in my head.
To quote one meditation teacher: “yes…your leg is in pain, but you doubled that pain making it a mental one” Hahhahhah…oh Goenkaji!
To quote my last meditation teacher: “stop making this a mental game…just observe…the future is just a thought”. My own thoughts about the future were creating my anxiety/challenges sleeping/exhaustion…not simply the physical demands.
Example:
Last week I was up at 530am, did my workout in the morning, met up with a friend, went on a hike then met up with another friend in the evening. Approximately 20k steps (previously I was hitting about 1-2k per day) and only 6 hours of sleep getting up at 5am the next day. Surprisingly, I felt really well both mentally and physically. Sure, I did have some worries about whether I’d completely crash in the next couple days or have an anxiety spiral, but just being aware of those thoughts gave me a lot more power to decide how I behaved. What I noticed is that though I was tired, I was fine with my mental state.
Food for Thought:
What this helps me to reinforce is that a lot of the challenges and demands I believe are making me exhausting aren’t actually the problem. It’s letting my thoughts get away from me when I engage and worry about the future. With time and more meditation, I know that my habitual thought patterns will change as the intensity of the negative thoughts has already become less.
Of course, this is easy to say and definitely was something I knew for a long time prior to this post, but what I know now is that it’s actually possible. With continued mental strengthening (hello more vipassana meditation!), I’ll be able to more easily navigate situations which I thought were intimidating or not possible.
Summary:
I hope this peek into my mental habit patterns may help you become aware of the mental habit patterns surrounding your lives. So many more things feel possible now and life feels way more in control. Now much has actually changed though, just my attitude.
Wishing you so well and may you be happy!
Tracy
World of Wandering Minds 