Blog Post #20: Quieting the Inner Dialogue – The Power of Now

photo from Excellence Times

Read time: 7 minutes

TLDR:

• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is a book that has been fundamental in strengthening my mental health
• Joy is present in every moment, but is often clouded by incessant thinking
• Becoming mindful, aware and accepting of the present moment (thoughts included), helps to quiet thoughts leading to less stress and more joy

*Note: I’ve provided links to the Power of Now on Amazon. As an Amazon Affiliate, I may earn from qualifying purchases; however, anything I will ever link is only what I truly believe is worthwhile. There’s no extra cost to you and it helps me keep travelling/writing about my adventures. ^^

Preamble:

Hello Readers,

Today I wanted to talk about a book that has been a real turning point in my life – The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Ironically, this book was originally recommended to me by my cousin over 15 years ago and again by a traveller 6 months ago, but I never read it then. I believe that things tend to come back into our lives when we’re ready for them so when someone for the second time on this trip recommended it, I took it to be a sign from the universe to pick up the book.

The Premise:

I downloaded the book onto my eReader not having much expectations besides knowing that this was a bestselling book. After a few pages in, I know that this was one of the puzzle pieces in me finding more joy and building more mental resilience.

Now I haven’t had the chance to read the entire book yet, but so far The Power of Now speaks to several simple facts:

• Joy is actually present in every moment
• The reason we don’t feel that joy is that our minds our clouded by thoughts of past and future
• There is a tendency to overidentify with our thoughts leading to unhappiness
• When we are present and accepting of what is, the thoughts dissipate and joy arises
• By deidentifying with thoughts, we enter the present and incorporate more joy into our lives

I find this book fascinating as it boiled down a couple thoughts I’ve had in the past. One of the main being that if I could quiet my mind from its incessant chatter, I’d be able to 1) free up more valuable energy and 2) enjoy more of the present moment. There were brief moments in the past where I’d have a quiet mind and the world seemed to be entirely perfect. It didn’t matter what was going on in my life – all things seemed possible and life was wonderful. This book explained this phenomenon and explained how to enter this field of joy more regularly. It also explained why meditation works so well and how it brings more joy and peace into my life. What happens over time also is that the thoughts become less insistent and less frequent. That isn’t to say that in the end we stop thinking, but we now have control over our mind rather than our mind controlling us.

Breaking it Down – Some Examples:

You might be thinking that it’s not possible to be joyful when life is so chaotic; however, in the Power of Now, Tolle explains that joy is like the sun, you may not be able to see is because clouds are blocking the way, but it’s always there. Yes, it can be challenging when life is full of to-dos, stormy weather, anxieties, disappointments etc., but what I’ve found is that most stresses in life simply come from my thoughts about the event rather than the actual event itself. Let’s take a couple examples:

	Example 1	Example 2	Example 3
Event	I have plans to go to the beach, but it’s raining	Applying for jobs	Flight is delayed
Thoughts:	– ugghhh it’s raining – I had plans to go to the beach, but now I can’t go – I really wanted to go to the beach – It was going to be so fun – Now I’m stuck inside – I hate the rain	– Ugghhh I hate applying for jobs – There’s so much paperwork – My resume isn’t updated and now I’ll have to get all this past information – It’s always so much work – Is it even worth it for this job? – I might not even get this jobs – What if I don’t get a job, then I won’t be able to continue travelling, I’ll be behind, I won’t be able to retire – Why am I even having these thoughts? I shouldn’t be thinking like this…this shouldn’t be so hard	– oh no, now my plane is delayed – I’m going to get in late – I might miss my next flight – if I miss my next flight, I’ll have to go to the check in counter – there might be a huge line…my luggage is heave – it might be unsafe because I’ll get in late – I don’t know where I’m going
Emotions	Disappointment	Anxiety, fear, doubt	Anxiety, fear

The above examples are just some habit patterns that my brain has gone through in the past. Without recognizing it, I spent a lot of time and energy worrying about something that I couldn’t change like the weather and applying for jobs. With travelling, I’ve come to realized that things always work out in the end (even a 3 hour connection in China when you have to fly out of a separate airport which is a 1 hour taxi ride away) so really, why worry? (Yes I know it’s hard to stop the worrying mind though so let’s get to stopping the chatting thoughts).

Awareness, Acceptance and Deidentification:

The first step in this process is developing awareness. If we don’t have awareness that our mind has wandered in the first place, we cannot begin to take steps toward change. How to develop that awareness? It takes time and watching thoughts. I find it very helpful to do meditation and this awareness ends up trickling into my everyday life. The second step is acceptance. For me the hardest part of this is not accepting the event, but accepting that my mind has wandered in the first place. I have automatic thought patterns of “why can’t I just focus” or “ughh…my mind wandered again…”. This brings me to the importance of the third point: deidentification.

The Importance of Deidentification:

For many years, I identified with my thoughts very heavily. Something would happen and I’d have an automatic thought. I’d manage to catch myself on the thinking, but then I’d ruminating on the fact that I’d had such a thought. Let’s take an example – I’d see someone dressed in something unfashionable. Thought: “Why is she wearing that dress? It makes her look ugly. Doesn’t she know that?”

Once I’d catch this thought, I’d start questioning my thoughts and the shaming thoughts occurred: “That’s so rude. Why am I thinking this way? I should be more kind? Why aren’t I being kind? I don’t feel like being kind. Why don’t I feel kind? I’m not a nice person. Other people don’t think this way” etc. etc. etc.

This is where the importance of deidentification comes in. Instead of the disparaging dialogue, the dialogue changes to become: “Oh that thought is just a habit pattern”.

I don’t believe we are fundamentally bad people. We have habit patterns ingrained into us through years of conditioning, of being in society and not being aware. It’s not a fault, just a fact. By deidentifying, the thought is just a thought and the fact of “me being a bad person” goes away. Once the thought is acknowledged and not felt to be a big deal, it disappears leaving a quiet mind and a sense of joy.

Fears of Deidentification:

It can be scary to think of deidentifying at first. I mean, who are we if not our thoughts? Well, as scary as it may sound, it’s in fact incredibly peaceful. In the end, I’m still me though…I’m still Tracy as people know me, just more even tempered and calm especially in the mists of adversity. It may be a little difficult to do in the beginning (actually it was really hard at first), but over time, the thoughts really do quiet and actually change which is fascinating. Even over the past week I’ve noticed that my mind is beginning to catch itself from shaming. “why am I having this thought…oh wait…it’s just a thought”. Also, the wandering is becoming less frequent….of course it does change day to day depending on how much sleep I get, but overall the mental quiet is becoming more profound.

Summary:

Awareness and acceptance of the present moment is what can bring us to feel more joy in our lives. By practicing in everyday life through meditation or awareness, we can learn to accept and deidentify with our thoughts leading to a quieter mind and greater joy. I haven’t finished the book yet, but I’m sure it’ll lead to more insight. Pick it up, give it a chance and happy reading ^^.

~Tracy