Background:
Hello Dear Readers,
Welcome to guest post #2! This post was written by a fellow meditator that I met at Dhamma Malaya in Malaysia. He’s originally from Singapore and came out to Malaysia to serve a 10-day course and was appointed as one of the cooks. This is his story of how vipassana meditation and the practice of metta (loving-kindness) has changed his life and close relationships. He has written it in his native language of Chinese as well as English.
Note: Thomas references some terminology which might not be familiar to everyone. You can read about these here:
Also, if you wish to try vipassana meditation for yourself, you can sign up for a course here: https://www.dhamma.org/en/courses/search
Wishing you a happy read!
Tracy
慈爱的奇迹
大家好，我是来自新加坡的吴富伟(Thomas)。自从2024年3月我参加第一个十日课程以来，内观禅修在很多方面改变了我的生活。
人们常说：“世代相传，家族遗传”。愤怒也是如此。我家的人个个脾气都很暴躁；偶尔会全家人一起爆炸。十几岁的时候，我在朋友圈里出了名的脾气暴躁。尽管我99%的时间里都是一个和蔼可亲的人，但我意识到，朋友们对我的定义，就是那1%的爆发性愤怒的可能性（虽然我成年后已学会了控制愤怒）。每当发生冲突时，朋友们都会自动认为我生气了，即使我并没有生气。不幸的是，这已经毁掉了几段友谊。但幸运的是，我始终相信，生活中的一切，无论好坏，都是有原因的。
在完成我的第一个十日课程后，我注意到了一些奇怪的事情。每当我快要感到愤怒时，我总会突然有几秒钟的觉知来决定是否应该对愤怒表示反应。通过在这几秒钟内观察自己的呼吸，我设法从冲突中走出来，控制了自己的愤怒。这是我多年来学习和阅读控制愤怒的方法中从未体验过的。我终于找到了一种能够真正解决一个问题的方法，而这个问题是靠读一本又一本的自助书永远无法解决的，这让我感觉太棒了。的确，“内观的钟声已经敲响”。内观技巧无疑蕴含着我毕生所需的智慧，可以帮助我解答关于如何在日常生活中运用和追求八正道的疑问。
当我是一个愤怒的人时，我感受不到慈爱。在我的第一个十日课程中，我感受不到慈爱。我无法欣赏葛印卡老师的慈爱颂。我甚至觉得在我的第一个十日课程中，慈爱颂纯粹是浪费时间。完成第一个十日课程后，我开始在日常坐禅中使用 Dhamma 应用程序，一部分原因是“强迫”自己静坐一小时，欣赏葛印卡老师的诵经，同时也给自己 5 分钟的慈悲观。我心想：如果慈心真的有效，我就每天给我那总是怒气冲冲的父亲发送慈爱，看看他是否真的随着时间的推移变得不那么愤怒，变得更加平和；如果慈悲观真的有效，我就每天给我那总是焦虑不安的老板发送慈爱，看看他是否真的随着时间的推移变得不那么焦虑，变得更加平和。我的父亲和老板都在 12 个月内意想不到的变得更加平和了。
这是巧合吗？我不确定，也无法确认。所以 8 个月后，我又参加了另一个十日课程。到了第十天，突然之间，葛印卡老师的慈爱念诵不再让我感到烦扰，我能感受到周围弥漫着微细的慈心波动，我心想：“啊，原来这就是慈爱波动啊。” 慈爱波动如此强烈，让我突然对周围的众生，尤其是那些在整个课程中为我们准备餐食的法工，产生了慈爱之心。慈爱心是我以前从未有过的特质。培养慈爱心简直是遥不可及的梦。
也许这只是个巧合？我不确定，也无法确认。所以我承诺四个月后再去参加十日课程，一定要当法工。在这门课程中，我们非常荣幸地看到了萧集智老师，他是葛印卡老师的中文翻译兼配音。没有他，佛法以及内观就不会传播到中国大陆、台湾、香港等地的中文使用者。为什么我们如此幸运呢？我们不仅很幸运地请到了萧集智老师这把散发着慈爱光芒的机关枪（真的！），现场还挤满了散发着慈爱光芒的法工。在整个十日课程中，所有法工都乐于服务，超越自己被分配的职责，互相帮助，互相教导，分享佛法，并且始终面带微笑。这样的体验如此美好，以至于我甚至有些犹豫是否以后还要不要当法工，因为我很清楚，以后的体验不会像这次那么美好。
总之……回到慈爱的话题……我从未见过我的家人如此平静……我从未见过我的同事如此平静……这，应该就是慈爱的奇迹。
我会继续向我身边所有需要慈爱的人传递慈爱，无论是我的家人、朋友、前任，还是“敌人”。
致以慈爱，
吴富伟(Thomas)
2025年4月16日
“Miracles of Metta” by Thomas (English Version)
Hello, I’m Thomas from Singapore. Vipassana meditation has changed my life in so many ways, since my first 10-Day course in March 2024.
“It’s all in the genes”, they say. And so is Anger. Anger runs high in my family; we raged together as a family. In my teens, I was notorious for being an angry person among my friends. Even though I’m a pleasant person 99% of the time, my friends defined me by the 1% chance of bursting into anger, even as I learnt to manage my anger through my adulthood. Whenever conflicts happened, my friends would automatically assume me to be angry even if I wasn’t. This has, unfortunately, ruined several friendships. But fortunately, I always believe that everything in life happens for a reason, whether good or bad.
Anyway, after completing my first 10-day course, I noticed something strange at work. Whenever I began to feel angry, I suddenly had a few seconds of awareness to decide whether I should react to my anger or not. By observing my breath in those few seconds, I manage to walk out of the conflict to contain my anger. This is something I never experienced throughout the years of learning and reading about managing anger. It felt so wonderful to finally find a technique that actually solves a problem which was never solved by reading book, after book, after book. Indeed, “The Clock of Vipassana Has Struck”. The Vipassana technique definitely contains the wisdom I need for my lifelong questions on the application and pursuit of Noble Eightfold Path in our day-to-day life.
When I was an angry person, I could not feel metta. I could not feel metta in my first 10-day course. I could not appreciate Goenkaji’s metta chants. I even thought metta was a waste of time in my first 10-day course. After my first 10-day course, I began using the Dhamma app in my daily sitting, partly to ‘force’ myself to sit one hour, to appreciate Goenkaji’s chants, and to give the 5 minutes of metta meditation a chance. I thought to myself: if metta really works, I’m going to send metta everyday to my forever angry father, and observe if he really becomes less angry and more peaceful over time; if metta really works, I’m going to send metta everyday to my forever anxious boss, and observe if he really becomes less anxious and more peaceful over time.
…Guess what, both my father and boss became more peaceful within 12 months.
Is it a coincidence? I’m not sure, I cannot confirm. So I sat another 10-Day course 8 months later. On Day 10, suddenly, Goenkaji’s metta chanting didn’t annoy me anymore, and I could feel subtle vibrations of metta all around me, and I thought, “Ah, so these are vibrations of metta”. The vibrations of metta were so strong that suddenly I developed compassion for the beings around me, especially the Dhamma servers who took care of our meals throughout the course. Compassion was a trait which was never present within me before. Developing compassion was a far-fetched dream.
Maybe it was just a coincidence? I’m not sure, I cannot confirm. So I made a pledge to serve a 10-Day course 4 months later. For this course, we were extremely lucky to have Teacher George Hsiao, the mandarin translator/voiceover for Goenkaji. Without him, Dhamma would not have spread to mandarin-speakers from China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, etc. And why were we lucky? Not only were we lucky to have the metta-making machine Teacher George Hsiao (no kidding!), we were also packed with metta-radiating servers. Throughout the 10 days, all servers were so happy serving, helping one another beyond our roles, teaching one another, sharing Dhamma, and always smiling. Such an experience was so good that it makes me hesitate a little to serve another course, knowing perfectly that it will not be as good as before.
Anyway…back to the topic of metta… I have never seen my family so peaceful before…I have never seen my colleagues so peaceful before…such is the Miracles of Metta.
I will continue to send metta to everyone around me who needs metta, be it my family, friends, former partners, or ‘enemies’.
With metta,
Thomas
16 April 2025
World of Wandering Minds 